


Desire

by TheBookofGorman



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Denial, F/M, First Year Lily, Hearts desire, Mirror of Erised, Room of Requirement, Severus/Lily friendship, Wishing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 13:38:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5377235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBookofGorman/pseuds/TheBookofGorman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily Evans sneaks into the Room Of Requirement one night to quench her curiosity and see just what her heart's desire really is...but the question is, will she like what she sees?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desire

The sound of soft footfalls filled the all-but silent halls of the old castle, late on one cold December night in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was just a few days before the majority of the student body would be returning to their families for Christmas and it was long past curfew...something that the particular individual that walked the halls at this late hour was acutely aware of.

Lily Evans turned another corner on the seventh floor of the castle, keeping to the wall and the shadows, her eyes flicking this way and that in paranoia. Her speeding heart was sure that Mrs. Norris was going to jump out at any moment.

To her relief, she met no resistance and reached her destination without challenge -- what looked to be a simple blank wall, opposite the tapestry of some famous wizard Lily couldn't recall teaching trolls ballet.

Taking a big breath in, she stared at the wall, her long, fiery red hair falling into her eyes a bit. She had been debating doing this since the moment Severus had explained to her what it was, but she hadn't had the courage to do so. Every time she'd considered it, she would somehow convince herself not to go. The idea of possibly being caught by Filch and bearing the punishment was unthinkable -- she was top in her class, she couldn't bear to cost Gryffindor the points she would lose if she was caught!

But, tonight, she had finally mustered up the courage. She couldn't keep her curiosity at bay any longer, no matter the cost. She was Lily Evans for Merlin's sake, and she was not going to give Sev the satisfaction of seeing her chicken out again!

With this thought in mind, Lily set her jaw and shut her eyes. Moving purposely, she walked passed the blank wall three times, focusing hard on what she wanted. The object that Sev had explained to her so vividly just a week before swam through her mind's eye.

Once she was sure that she had walked the length of the hall three times, Lily stopped and slowly opened her eyes, heart racing in anticipation and slight worry. What if it didn't work?

But it did work and Lily felt her breath leave her. Before her stood an intricately carved door on what had only been a blank wall a moment before.

 _"It worked!"_ she whispered, stepping forward with wide eyes and placing her hand on the door handle, which was smooth and cold to the touch.

With bated breath and a sudden rush of adrenaline flowing into her veins, Lily yanked open the door and entered the room.

And gasped.

She had walked into a room as large, if not larger, than the Great Hall. It was styled in similar fashion, with floating candles dotting the high ceiling, but it was not filled with the five Hogwarts tables. Instead, the massive room was oddly empty...except for one sole object, placed conspicuously in the center of the room.

It seemed to glow a bit in the odd, surreal lighting of the floating candles which, to Lily at least, made the room seem to sparkle like fairy dust. It caused the whole space feel like something out of one of the fairy tales Lily used to obsess over as a kid. Magic and fairies and wizards…she had always loved it all so much. Of course, Tuney had thought it to be all a bunch of childish nonsense. Not always -- she had used to love to dress up and play princesses once upon a time -- but that had been a very, very long time ago, back when they had been very young. Petunia had grown up too fast. She'd thrown her childhood away at the first opportunity, leaving anything 'childish' behind and striving for more 'adult' things. Magic was all but a bunch of phooey to her from then on.

Of course, Petunia could never have realized that magic was real, and neither of them had every considered the idea that Lily really might be a witch. Lily thought she had known, maybe, deep down. She had always been slightly different and she had always been able to do some 'odd' things. But magic? It had seemed too good to be true.

But it was real. Magic was real. Fairies were real. Wizards and witches were real!

And she was a witch. A real, live witch. She was magic.

She had been at Hogwarts for four months now, but everything still felt so new to her...so magical and surreal. She wasn't sure if it would ever seem like reality and not some fantasy or elaborate dream.

Maybe that's why she was so curious about the mirror before her, sitting on its own in the half-light just like she had imagined it -- and exactly as Sev had described it. She knew the mirror itself was at least part of the reason she was here. The idea of seeing her heart's desire was simply too good to pass up. When Severus had told her about a secret room on the third floor that housed a magical mirror...she hadn't even known what to think. Mostly, she thought he might be pulling her leg.

She wanted to look in it, of course.

But part of her was scared about what she might see. After all, what was her dream -- the whole thing? She knew a couple things that she wished for, deep down, but she had never considered what her one, true desire was, and she was a little worried about what it might be.

But she couldn't chicken out now. She just _couldn't!_

Taking another big breath, Lily walked toward the mirror on shaky feet, stopping before its reflective surface in a fit of anxiety. She was suddenly really thankful she had decided to go alone. She didn't think she could stand it if Sev were here. He'd probably be laughing his bum off at her.

She bit her lip, focusing on the words above the mirror in sudden last-minute hesitation.

Could she do it? All she had to do was look down.

_Erised stra ehru…_

But what would she see? What if it was too early for her to see her heart's desire? What if it showed her _future?_

_…oyt ube cafru…_

_Ugh,_ she had to stop being such an ickle first year! She was Lily Evans and she was not going to chicken out!

_…oyt on wohsi._

Eyes narrowing in determination, Lily took one more big breath…and looked down into the mirror.

For the second time that night, she felt her breath leave her.

Before her, in the mirror, was herself. It was her, with the same red hair and freckles she saw in the mirror every morning. But she was older. Not a first year -- not even a teenager any longer. She was in her twenties, Lily guessed. An adult. A full-fledged witch of the Wizarding community, wearing robes of midnight blue that made her hair stand out like fire. She was smiling confidently, with her chin held high. She was successful. Proud. Happy.

Before Lily could completely comprehend what she was seeing, another person appeared by her mirror-self's side.

It took her a moment to recognize him. He also looked older, different, but there was no mistaking that small smile that only she could glean from his normally-guarded pale face.

 _"Severus,"_ she murmured, staring at the older version of her friend with wide eyes. He was tall -- much taller than her, she noted with slight annoyance. Wouldn't her heart's desire at least depict her the same height as him?

Sev was wearing black like he always did, but it seemed more…elegant on him. Fitting. And he looked very content and unguarded, something Lily rarely ever saw with him. He appeared happy and wasn't even trying to hide it. He was even smiling. As Lily watched, astounded, he put a hand on her arm and whispered in her mirror-self's ear with a somewhat mischievous smile, causing the mirror-Lily to laugh.

Lily realized she was laughing too and let loose, smiling wide. Her anxiety left her in a relieved rush as she watched her older self and the older Sev interact with sparkling eyes, loving every bit of the image.

It was perfect. Both of them, still best friends, despite being in separate houses. Both of them, successful and happy. It was everything she wanted, she realized. This was her heart's desire.

Or so she thought. As she watched her and Sev in the mirror, Lily's eyes widened as another form began to appear behind her mirror-self.

She felt her mouth fall open a bit.

 _"Petunia,"_ she breathed, placing a hand to the mirror and pressing her face up to the surface in awe.

Sure enough, her sister -- also looking older, mature and very beautiful, Lily noted -- had appeared in the mirror behind her and Sev. She was smiling wide as well and looked just as happy and content as Lily's mirror-self...something Lily rarely saw on her sister nowadays. As Lily watched in fascination, Tuney began to sneak up behind her mirror-self and the mirror-Severus, who seemed to not have noticed her.

Then, grin wide -- much to Lily's agape shock -- the mirror-Petunia jumped onto Sev from behind, laughing silently and grinning from ear to ear as she clung to his back like they were siblings.

And to further her surprise, Sev seemed completely _fine_ with it! In fact, he was laughing, too! He even began to move in small circles, holding onto Petunia's arms to keep her from falling and stamping his feet like a horse.

It was one of the weirdest, but yet most wonderful things Lily had ever laid eyes on. It was an impossible scenario, she knew. Petunia hated every inch of Severus, and vice versa. They would never get along this well, let alone play with one another like they were cousins. It was crazy, but Lily couldn't help but love it. With a jolt, she realized she had always wished for this. For Sev and Petunia to like each other and get along. For her and Sev to be best friends forever, and for all of them to grow up and be successful and happy.

With a longing she had never, ever felt before, Lily wished with all her heart that the picture in the mirror could one day come true.

But apparently, the mirror was not yet done fulfilling her desire. As Lily stared at the embodiment of her dream with hungry eyes, another figure began to materialize.

At first, he was just a haze, and Lily had to squint to try and make him out. But soon enough -- maybe far too soon -- his features began to sharpen and Lily grew to see just who was walking into the picture to stand next to the mirror-Lily, opposite of Sev.

This time Lily's jaw probably could have brushed the stone floor.

 _"Potter?"_ she exclaimed, horrified. Once again, she was beginning to doubt her own eyes.

But there was no mistaking just who the man standing beside her older self was. He was also older, like the rest of them, but Lily would not soon forget the sparkle of mischief in his hazel eyes or the round, slightly askew glasses that framed them. Even as Lily watched, he ran a hand through his hair just like Potter did at least three-hundred times a day, messing up his unruly hair even more and making it stick up on end.

And then, much to Lily's utter horror, Potter's right arm moved and he slipped his hand into Lily's mirror-self's hand, smiling down at her. For once, his smile didn't even appear mocking in the slightest.

And to Lily's growing horror, the mirror-Lily smiled back, squeezing his hand affectionately before standing on her tip-toes and kissing him full on the lips.

 _"NO!"_ Lily screamed aloud, her shriek echoing in the Room as she staggered back in horror. _"No, no, no, no, no!"_

It wasn't possible. _It couldn't be_! How could her heart's desire show her with him? _Him?_ James _Potter_ , the boy that stalked her? The boy with an ego like a hot air balloon? The boy who was obsessed with Quidditch and never stopped talking about it? The boy with the cocky grin that always messes up his hair in that infuriating way? The boy that made fun of Severus at every chance he got?

 _Severus._ Sev would never, _ever_ stand for her being with Potter. Never in a million.

But as Lily stared at the mirror-version of her best friend, Sev looked on at her and James -- no, _Potter_ \-- with a smile. Like he was happy for them! In fact, he even moved to stand behind James and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder, which James returned with a smile.

It was the most disturbing and impossible thing Lily had ever seen in her entire life. She refused. She refused to believe it. Her and Potter with the absolute, most incompatible people in the world. Lily despised him. She would _always_ despise him, because of the cocky, stuck-up rich boy he was.

She would never, ever fall in love with him.

The mirror was wrong. This was not her heart's desire. It would never be her heart's desire.

Slamming her jaw shut in anger and disbelief, Lily took one last long look at the image presented to her in the mirror, before turning on her heel and stalking out of the Room.

After all, her and Potter?

The idea was almost laughable.

That wasn't her heart's desire.

And it never would be.


End file.
